June 2012
Reblog if you'd rather see Chris Evans shirtless...
sassy-gay-jake-english:
xoneinamillionx:
always
1 tag
p4tentexp1red replied to your post: I want a cat at my apartment. Problem is if I could get it allowed, I would have to give it away at the end of summer, so I would need someone to take it after then… .
Maybe adopt an adult kitty who needs someone to love it.
I would, but I don’t want to get one and not have someplace for it to go after the summer, which is how it is currently...
6 tags
I want a cat at my apartment. Problem is if I...
Prison Rules: As complete as I could make 'em
Prison rules
1. NO FANDOM FIGHTS: You are only allowed to start fights with regular prisoners if and only if they bash your fandom(s).
2. We all have one thing in common: gay pairings. Remember this when someone acts up.
3. Gay fanart workshop time is bonding time: Play nice and kindly help others if they ask for it.
4. Sherlock fandom: we would like to ask you to turn your cries off after 11pm. However this rule doesn't apply on Sunday.
5. Doctor Who fandom: We know bananas are high in potassium. Leave it. Also your screwdriver is not sonic and will be confiscated.
6. Supernatural fandom: please do not take all the salt from the cafeteria.
7. Fans are allowed to be in more than one fandom, do not seclude them if they do.
8. Harry Potter fandom: That is not a wand, it is a stick, and it is not allowed indoors.
9. Glee fandom: Those prison guards are not secretly a couple, stop shipping everything.
10. Darren Criss fandom: The furniture is for SITTING/SLEEPING on, not jumping, so please refrain from doing so.
11. Doctor Who fandom: No breaking out, you're not River Song and this isn't Storm Cage
12. AtLA fandom: Zutarans and Kataangers to stop infighting immediately. We're all in this together. Also fake bending battles to be confined to rec time please, you're weirding out the guards.
13. Furnace Fandom: There are no such things as Wheezers, you're scaring the other inmates with your weird stories.
14. Glee fandom: Please stop crafting shivs while glaring menacingly at other shippers after every ship war you guys have. It's getting ridiculous and they're really starting to pile up.
15. Pirates of the Caribbean fans: please do not steal the emergency supply of rum.
16. X-Men First Class fandom: stop destroying all the cleaning buckets, they won't look like that damn helmet anyway
17. Amnesia fandom: You're not in the prison level, there is no need to hide in dark corners and cry for your lantern. You are freaking out your inmates.
18. Hunger Games fandom: No forcing each fandom to select a champion to send in battle against one another.
19. My Little Pony fandom: Love and Tolerate the shit out of EVERYONE.
20. Whedonites: Don't be afraid to like the other prisoners. Joss can't kill them off in here.
21. Batman fandom: Stop stealing the Whovian's lipstick. You are not the Joker.
22. Twilight fandom: Don't pick fights with the Harry Potter fans in the cafeteria. You cannot slay them with sparkles.
23. Wholockians: You can't insist we pray to Moffat during religious services. Your prayers do not appease him or his troll Gatiss.
24. Firefly fandom: Those aren't coats. Those are blankets you've fashioned to look like coats. Stop it! ...It's the middle of winter and we don't have the budget for this.
25. Buffy fandom: No, we aren't going to establish a policy of exposing every staff member and inmate to sunlight on a daily basis 'just to make sure'. And no, you can't all work in the woodshop making 'stakes'. Sorry, those are just wooden shivs.
26. Portal and Stargate Fandoms: Your cellmates do not appreciate the chalk circles you keep drawing on the walls. Besides, for it to work you’d have to have the end of the wormhole be on the outside of the prison. Unless you are just sneaking into the kitchen.
27. Skyrim Fandom: Stop calling people “milk-drinkers”. You don’t even know what that MEANS. Also no-one wants to hear about your knee.
28. White Collar Fandom: Pretty sure the guards are looking out for that escape technique by now. You’re never going to grow a convincing beard anyway.
29. Princess Bride: You are NOT Inigo Montoya, your father is upset that you are in jail, and if you quote this again you should prepare to die.
30. Golden Compass: No one else can see your daemon, so it’s kind of freaking people out that you talk to it so much.
31. Temeraire: The egg you get at breakfast is hard boiled. It will never hatch into a dragon, and hoarding them under your pillow won’t change that. Cut it out, they are starting to smell.
32. Dr. Horrible: Actually, the freeze ray you are making out of matchsticks looks quite cool. You may proceed. But hitting on other people on laundry day is unacceptable.
33. Battlestar Galactica: Just because they’re not in your fandom doesn’t make them Cylons! They would appreciate it if you stopped quizzing them on human emotions.
34. House: It COULD be Lupus. But I think you’re getting the prison doctor, not House, to check it out.
35. Mad Men: Um, no, you can’t act like that because we don’t live in the 60’s anymore. Put out that cigar and stop groping the buxom ladies.
36. Vampire Diaries: Stop trying to kill the Twilight fans. You started the whole romanticizing thing, so it’s partially your fault!
37. Song of Ice and Fire: No matter how much you petition the parole board, they will never transfer you to “the Wall”
38. IT Crowd: After you make the necessary jokes, you really should fix the computer. How else will the fanfiction get written?
39.Tin Tin: Pretending to get drunk on the water is not that funny.
40. Monk: Please share your neurotic tendencies only with those who give permission. Organizing people’s cells when they are out in the yard is likely to get you punched.
41. South Park: Just because his name is Kenny doesn’t give you the right to kill him! Also he is not a cartoon. Put the prisoner down.
42. Slenderfandom: No we are not proxies trying to torment you. Put down that camera and knife right now.
43. M*A*S*H: You are no longer permitted in the arts and crafts room if you keep attempting to preform surgery on the tables.
44. [Prototype]: Stop trying to eat the inmates! You will not gain memories or their appearance by doing so.
45. inFAMOUS: You are no longer allowed near any electrical equipment. We've lost a lot of your type because you kept sticking forks in the sockets trying to gain its energy.
46. Kingdom Hearts: We are not Heartless, we are not Nobodies. Put down that broomstick, it is not a keyblade.
47. Homestuck: You are not allowed near the gray face paint anymore. We will also be forced to remove a certain water holding container if you don't stop trying to have sex over top of them. It is unsanitary.
48. The Last Airbender: Stop snapping our silverware in half. It's not considered metalbending and if you continue, we will be forced to use plastic forks and knives again..
49. Holmestuck: John is not a homosexual, period.
50. Castle Fandom: Don't worry, I'd get you out.
51. Fullmetal Alchemist Fandom: Stop drawing transmutation circles on the floors in chalk. You are not alchemists.
52. Minecraft Fandom: Please refrain from digging up the dirt in the courtyard. It's starting to irritate the guards.
53. Fringe Fandom: Wait, where the fuck is the Fringe fandom? (Meanwhile, Fringe fans are chilling in another universe in an alternate timeline, rewatching season 12384132746946 of Fringe.)
54. Merlinians: No, you may NOT visit the Great Dragon. You magic spells do not work here. The warden's wife is NOT a troll.
55. Misfits Fandom: Stop fucking killing your probation workers. Shit.
I can no longer hear the phrase "let's get down to...
May 2012
The Best Thing Happened To Me Today In Math Class
fiddlesticksandcustard:
We had a substitute for Math because my actual teacher had personal business to attend to. We weren’t doing much, just some little project, and today it was storming in Texas. So this enormous clap of thunder shakes the walls and everybody starts screaming. Then I look over at the teacher’s desk to see our substitute standing up from his chair and shouting, “Shut up Thor!...
