Dear Sir, My hitting you in the balls is not a sign of affection. In fact it is a sign of the opposite. I am sorry for your being confused, but I do not want in your pants. Nor do I want you in mine. Please keep this in mind. -Me
I just found out that apparently falling asleep with your shoes on means people can do whatever the hell they want to you. Who knew?
I enjoy stealing food from the cafeteria and sitting in the lobby of my dorm giving it away. I guess this isn't normal. . . . People look at me weird when I offer them "judgement free cookies."
I just fell off my bed. It is lofted. I now have a sore leg and a few giant bruises. Isn't it a great day?
I got to fly a plane for the first time today! It was wicked and I wish I was back up in the air! Can't wait to go again tomorrow!
Dear Katy Perry, Who in the hell feels like a plastic bag drifting through the wind?
Sometimes this smile is as fake as it gets. I smile on the outside, when I'm dying on the inside, but only because I want you to think I'm strong. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself. If I can smile through one more day, maybe this smile will be genuine. . . .